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Going on that first date can be nerve-wrecking. There seem to be so many things to avoid on a first date that you might be thinking it would be easier to just take a rain check and save yourself the pain. Don’t panic! With a few aces up your sleeve – or, better yet, aces you should keep up your sleeve, not lay on the table – your evening will be a success.
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Here are 2 often overlooked but highly important things to avoid on a first date if you’re interested in increasing the chances for a second one:
Myth #1 You Should Sit Across the Table from Your Date
This may be one of the most counterintuitive things to avoid on a first date since “face-to-face” is actually the most popular seating arrangement for dating. But check out what proxemics specialists say about it – it gets pretty interesting.
According to proxemics, this setting is called the competitive/defensive position and creates a barrier between the two of you, leading to (more) tension or even anxiety. In business, such an arrangement can be beneficial, but you’re on a date here; you want to have fun and get to know each other, not compete over which one of you becomes the next leader of the real estate market.
What’s the best seating arrangement, then? The corner position seems to create the most convenient atmosphere for a first date. It eliminates the pressure and aggressiveness of the face-to-face setting, but it still keeps a comfortable distance so that you don’t intrude into each other’s personal space.
Myth #2 Force Awkward Silences Away
Whether you like it or not, awkward silences will be there at some point. In fact, the probability of them “dropping by” is so high that you should ask your date to make a reservation for “plus two”, just to be on the safe side.
Most of the times, you’ll only make things worse if you try to force yourself out of an awkward silence. Instead of desperately looking for a new topic, just address the elephant in the room. By simply acknowledging the silence and imparting that your brain just refuses to help you get out of this uncomfortable situation elegantly, you will break the ice and make him feel more comfortable as well.
Share with us – Do you have certain things you never do on a first date?
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