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When my second child was born my hair started falling out. It was slow at first and I just attributed it to the normal post-pregnancy shedding. But, instead of slowing down over time, it got worse. This morning, almost three years later, the reality hit me: I’m losing my hair.
I’ve always had good hair. Sure, I have those phases where it’s dry and frizzy thanks to the severe humidity of the areas I’ve lived – but it’s always been healthy and extremely thick. One of my biggest complaints over time was that I couldn’t find a hair band strong enough to hold it; they either stretched out or popped under the pressure. When my shedding started in 2009 I wasn’t worried. Annoyed, yes – but not worried. I knew it could take months to go back to normal. A year later I realized the problem was getting worse. I’m not exaggerating when I say you could find my hair all over the house. It was a running joke – we called them “Mom’s hair spiders”. When it rolled into year two it wasn’t funny anymore.
I remember going in to have my hair trimmed and my stylist being shocked at how much hair came off in her hands. During one wash and cut she was able to almost fill a ziplock baggy with the strands. Even worse: it was coming out at the root.
“I don’t understand it,” she whispered more to herself than me, “It’s strong, healthy hair. It’s not breaking. It’s literally falling out at the root.”
I asked her what I should do and she replied, “I’d go see your doctor. Get some blood work done. But really, if your hair doesn’t seem thin then I wouldn’t worry too much. As long as it’s growing back as fast as it falls out then…” and she trailed off. She was as puzzled as I was. So I made an appointment with my doctor. They ran the usual tests – thyroid, hormone levels, etc. I gave more blood than I ever have before. The test came back negative for anything that would possibly cause the hair loss. I returned to my totally baffled state of mind. I had almost hoped they’d find something. At least then I could start a treatment to stop it. Coming up empty handed (except for handfuls of hair, of course) left me confused and upset. My doctor echoed my stylist “Your hair is still thick. It will probably work itself out.” and she went on about residual hormone issues from pregnancy and the like. I left feeling no better than when I arrived.
That was last year and, since then, I’ve held onto the idea of ‘as long as it’s thick you’re okay’.
Until now.
This morning I was brushing my hair and saw something I’ve never seen before: the wall behind me. I could see through my hair.
No, this wasn’t right. I told myself it was just the weird haircut I had last time. Then I realized that was a year ago – it was already grown out. I had to face facts: I’m still losing my hair, and it’s not growing back anymore. Thoughts of female pattern baldness and having to wear a wig flooded into my mind. After a few minutes of panic I chastised myself, “You silly woman. There are others who deal with being completely bald every day of their life and you’re worried about THINNING hair? Stop being so selfish!” But I couldn’t shake it. No one wants to permanently lose a part of their body, their appearance…who they are. That freaks me out. It also reminds me that I’ve lost my one safety net in this whole ordeal. My husband said he couldn’t see a difference, but a woman knows her hair. We stare at it every morning in the mirror. We know when it’s healthy and when it’s not. We notice everything about it. I wasn’t imagining this, because before now I agreed that my hair was still thick, still glossy, still healthy. So I felt healthy. Now…all that has changed…
I can no longer feel that I’m okay. I have to face the fact that something is very wrong.
So, what do I do now? There’s no denying what is happening – but WHY is it happening? Can it be stopped? I’ve already done every blood test known to man and they found nothing. Am I left to just slowly watch my hair disappear…should I start thinking of how to hide it? I’ve tried repairing shampoos, conditioners, scalp treatments, vitamin supplements…everything. It seems like such a small thing medically speaking, but it worries and depresses me greatly. I want to know what’s wrong with my body and if this is only a hint of something bigger…something worse….and I have no idea how to do that.
The truth is….I’m scared.
image: loleia
Thank you for your comment, Ivette! It definitely helps to know I’m not alone. Frustrating is a great word – especially when our doctors can’t give us an explanation. If you find anything that works, please share! Thank you for stopping by :)
I do have mild hypothyroidism (which developed during my pregnancy) and I’m on thyroid meds, so I think that exacerbates my problem, but I’ve been dealing with hair loss for years. I’m also chronically low on vitamin D, so maybe that contributes, too. Like yours, it comes out at the root. A hairdresser once told me that thick hair has a higher turnover rate. I’m not sure how true that is, but since my hair doesn’t actually seem to be thinning, I try not to worry about it. I have a ton of hair. I will say that it is immensely annoying. I like to have long hair, and it gets everywhere–clogs up the bathtub drain, gets tangled up in the vacuum cleaner, etc. I might have to suck it up and just get it chopped.
I guess there are reasons for all this. Experiencing hair loss after giving birth is normal. Although it does not happen to everyone going through the post partum period, when it strikes, it can go as bad as going bald. The reason for this is the fluctuation in your hormone levels.