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Recently I bought a new 7″ tablet because our two year old was getting a little too touchy-feely with Dad’s iPad. I loaded all of his favorite app games and couldn’t wait to sit down and help him play. It went fine at first. Oh, we had a blast. Matching Socks (great game for toddlers, btw), tapping frogs, puzzles – the usual preschool games. Then we found Sushi Chop. For those that have never played Sushi Chop let me clue you in: don’t start. If you have any other responsibilities in your day then you should never slice your first fugu. I wish someone had been around to tell me that.
Little man (aka “buddha”) was getting frustrated so I offered to help. Next thing I know I’m slashing eels and chopping up tuna like I’m the only surviving member of the Zombie Apocalypse resistance. Did I mention I’m a bit obsessive about high scores? Yeah. I don’t care what the game is – if it involves unlocking game options for score levels then I’m doomed. Once I unlocked the double blade of fish death all hell broke loose…
“Buddha…stop touching the buttons. I’m trying to chop the fishies for you.”
“Hey, hey… Momma missed that fish because you stuck your foot in my face. Now I have to start over.”
“Okay you chop the next one….wait…no. That’s a shrimp. You always miss the shrimp and I only have one life left.”
“Okay…. now your turn……okay go ahead. Now. No….you have to actually touch the screen. No, that’s not the screen…touch THAT part…no….(sigh)”
“Buddha…I can’t see through your hand. …buddha….no, seriously…is that a booger?!”
“(sobbing) …Do you just WANT me to lose?”
So I finally come to my senses, repeat a few times, “I bought this for him, not me” and hand over the tablet. That night after buddha went to bed I couldn’t wait to play, undisturbed. Those stupid little bits of raw seafood would feel my wrath! I got all set up and, just as I’m crusing into super lightsaber katana koi killer level with a perfect score, here comes Big Man – my 14 year old. Mind you, he’s been cloistered up in his room for the past 4 hours; unwilling to mingle with the commoners.
“Mom.” ( I grunt something similar to a reply)
“Mom….”
“…wha?…yeah just a minute. STUPID SHRIMP!!”
“Mom!” (wow…that sounds important! The game can wait…my first baby needs me!)
“What?”
“…..what are you doing?”
It’s a good thing I love him.
Most moms want to vacation in Maui. I just want to unlock level 9.
